The Logical Conclusion

Anyone who’s been following this for a while should have seen the warning signs and be able to guess what’s coming next. Seaside, water, exciting things to see, clearly suboptimal temperatures, photographs already posted detailing it… Yep, time to go diving again!

Despite having all my diving qualifications nicked in Buenos Aires, the dive centre accepted on faith that I am qualified and agreed to drop me into the sea. Hurrah! But what is there to see? You’re not allowed to play with the whales as they are too dangerous, but Puerto Madryn has what they claim to be a unique experience in the world; diving with sealions!

Now, apart from the rather abortive, disease-riddden attempt to swim with pink dolphins in the Amazon Basin, I haven’t really done “swimming with” things before. In Mexico you could go to a park where they made dolphins do tricks with you, but somehow I wasn’t keen. The sealions, though, are something else entirely. Not only are they wild, but they actually cannot leave you alone once you hit the water.

So, with just a snorkel (the diving comes later) you get dropped off a boat and they start to advance on you to play. And they’ve got a good range of games too! We played “Headbutt the Tourist”, where a sealion will pop up in front of you and smack you on the mask with its nose, so you topple backwards into the water. Not to lose their plaything, some other will push you back up (you do float anyway, as yo’re iin a wetsuit) just in time for another to smack you in the face. It’s great! They have bristly faces.

The next game is to climb on top of you from behind, so you pitch forwards, and sit on top of you in the water so can’t roll over. And, of course, the old favourite “Stealing the Fins” game, where they grab your flippers and tear them off, so you have to chase them through the water incompetently to get them back.

And there’s one, just one, that plays the “Biting Very Hard” Game, where is grabs you as hard as possible until you hit it on the head, shouting in agony. I’m less of a fan of that game. Here’s me playing the Headbutt one, anyway:

Then came the wreck dive, which was just a little abortive. The new divers went to a reef first, so there was lots of bobbing about on the boat. We went to Wreck One, but were told that the conditions were too bad to see anything there. So, on to Wreck Two! Only… Where is Wreck Two? “Ah”, says the captain. “That’s the sixth time this year that the whales have stolen the marker buoy!” So, no idea where that wreck happens to be. Back to the reef! Oh no, hang on, someone else has rung up and said the conditions at Wreck One really aren’t that bad at all… and back we go. It was bloody cold, but very exciting. More diving in the UK may well be a good idea.

Saf - Puerto Madryn, Argentina